Not Quite Fifty Shades

I’ve been writing my blog and publishing books.  I really enjoy it; conceivably more than anything I’ve ever done, with the possible exception of playing Little League Baseball.  For the most part, they’re stories about my life, the people I meet and the lessons I’ve (hopefully) learned.  I’ve been struggling with my next book because I’m attempting to write about my Addictive Personality Disorder and all of the challenges to which it has led me.  But it’s hard digging into those old wounds.  Hopefully I’ll get past my struggles and be able to complete it.

Sales of my memoir books aren’t quite as peppy as I’d like so, lately, I’ve been contemplating writing a fiction book.  Knowing me, it’ll probably be a book about a police officer or something relatively close to it.  Action/adventure and crime/thriller books seem to do well.  So do romance books, but I’m pretty sure I’m not qualified to write in that genre.

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Still, I’ve noticed that the Romance genre has gotten even steamier, if you will, with the popularity of the book Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James.  Apparently this book originated as fan fiction and was published serially on a blog.  Its critics say it is poorly written but its subject matter appeared to have negated any difficulties the young author had with prose.  It was so popular with women over 30 that a few media outlets dubbed it Mommy Porn.

I have never seen a copy of the book but, from what I can glean from the web, it’s about a young woman who becomes romantically entangled with a 27-year-old billionaire who lures her into a life of bondage sex.  Somehow it struck a chord with enough women of all ages that it has sold at least 100-million copies worldwide and has even been made into a Hollywood movie.  Apparently the film was as much of a critical bomb as the book, but with the box office numbers and the sales of the book above a hundred million copies, I don’t think the author cares what the critics think.  I, sure as heck, wouldn’t.

I did, however, see a pretty funny photo of a ramshackle trailer surrounded by innumerable dead weeds.  The caption said something to the effect that Fifty Shades was only titillating because the guy was a billionaire.  If he lived here, he would have been arrested and tried for kidnapping and rape.

Since seeing that, and in the name of research, I’ve tried to see what is popular in that genre.  I haven’t purchased any books, but I’ve read many of the blurbs for that category.  Most of them have to do with the steamy relationships that occur when the heroine meets a guy who is a billionaire this or billionaire that.  Perhaps the money is more of an aphrodisiac than blindfolds, whipped cream and chainsaws.  Or, whatever they use for their playtime…

Maybe I’ll give it a try.

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So, I got to thinking…  Maybe I can write some Romance books!  That might make me some money!  They certainly do have a large and growing audience.

I’ve been contemplating some ideas for a possible foray into the arena, but I’m not sure I’m on the right track.  Do I really know what women want?  Have I ever?  Does anyone?  Do the women themselves?

I could use your help.

Following are a few of my ideas.  Let me know what you think.

Secret Garden

Down on her luck but fiercely independent, Jenny works as a pole dancer at the Secret Garden.  She’s just killing time until she saves enough to leave town.  But there’s one hitch.  She meets Donny, the club’s billionaire bartender.  They can’t deny their chemistry, but can Jenny resist his cocktail?

Man with a Hose

Snappy businesswoman, Aretha, has it all: Power, money and a luxurious lifestyle.  But a freak traffic accident finds her in the arms of billionaire firefighter, Jake.  Will she be transported to the hospital in his Lamborghini firetruck?  Or will she find herself simply carried away by his hose?

Working Stiff

Lori Smith longs to take over her family’s company, but when her father finally agrees to let her be the boss, she’s is forced to work even longer hours.  Her exhaustion soon turns to fiery passion when she’s working late in her office and meets billionaire janitor, Gary.  How many nights will he empty more than her trash can?

I’ll Do Anything

Computer programmer, Delilah, works alone in a cramped, dingy office.   Soon the walls come down and the lights come on when she meets billionaire intern, Jack.   Willing to do anything to learn to write code, the young billionaire promises to do anything she says in order to learn from her.   But will he do an acceptable job on her spread sheet?

Pepperoni Man

College junior, Tammy, is an unpopular girl on campus.  Her evenings are spent alone in her dorm, studying and daydreaming of meeting someone special.  One evening her world is turned upside down when billionaire pizza deliver guy, Conrad, arrives with some extra pepperoni.

The Right to Remain Sexy

When her old friend is kidnapped, Lacey is devastated.  Her life is already turned upside down but then she is sent reeling when she meets billionaire FBI Agent, Lemuel.  He investigates more than the disappearance of her friend.  Will Lacey have the right to remain silent or will she say anything she can? And will Lemuel hold it against her?

Let Me Tug on That

Seven years ago, a tragic accident left Annie without the use of her arm.  But then she meets billionaire physical therapist, Lonnie.   He stretches her resolve to the limits and his touch makes her feel alive again as he manipulates more than her atrophied muscles.

Extra Credit!

College professor Penny Price is bored with her mundane existence.  That is until erotic offers begin appearing in her suggestion box.  Who could understand her hidden desires so completely? Could it be billionaire freshman, Dane?  Or is it billionaire track coach, Lance?  There’s also billionaire custodian, Frank.  Or millionaire department head, John.  No.  Not John.

The Milkman Cometh

Connie is a hard-working, single mother of three.  Will she have the strength to make it through another day as she struggles to have a career and run her household?  Or will she collapse under the physical and mental burdens of each day?  Her life is orderly and regimented until one morning, billionaire milkman, Rex, offers to deliver some extra cream with her order.

Well, I still don’t know. I not sure I can get a handle on this genre. Maybe I’ll stick with trying a police drama… What are your thoughts?