Perhaps it Wasn’t as Good as I Thought

I can make a few meals. And some of them are pretty good. For the most part, I can follow a recipe; though I’ve been accused of being somewhat relaxed in my adherence to the listed measurements. To me, they’re more of a rough guideline. I did publish a cookbook with some pretty simple, yet tasty recipes. I’ve written about my most deadly meal. However I think this one can be considered (by some—and they know who they are!) to be my worst.

This recipe dates back to the very late 1980’s.  I was living in a modest apartment, working at a traditionally low-paying radio job and spent most of my spare time serving as a reserve police officer.  And every other weekend, my son and daughter stayed with me. 

And that’s when I created my masterpiece!

After work on Friday’s, I’d drive to their town and pick them up for the weekend.  Most times, on the way back to my place, we’d stop at the supermarket and get some fried chicken and potato wedges or something similar.  Visiting the deli counter saved me having to cook dinner.  At least on that night.  There was also Saturday night and, if the visitation weekend was close to the end of a pay period, I’d have to get more creative with my meals.

And that’s how I came up with Pizza Noodles!

Pizza Noodles were invented on a weekend when I didn’t have much in the cupboards.  It was one of those cases—I’m sure most of us have experienced in our younger days—where I had to get creative.  I had a pound of elbow macaroni, and some cheese in the fridge.  Basically, Pizza Noodles were elbow macaroni, some red spaghetti sauce, cubed cheddar and mozzarella cheese and some salt, pepper, dried basil and oregano.  It was, for all intents and purposes, the same as pizza, with the dough being replaced by noodles.

I thought it was pretty good!

They hated it.

Perhaps part of my enjoyment came from the fact that it was fairly inexpensive and made us a full meal.  And maybe I was proud of myself for pulling that out of my… cupboard.  But I really liked it!

They hated it.

I remember on more than one occasion responding to their question as to what’s for dinner with an enthusiastic, “Pizza Noodles!”

I can still hear their laments.  Shoulders slumped, voices in contrived moans… “Not pizza noodles…”

There were days, back then, when I struggled with feelings of failure.  It bothered me when I was not able to provide a better weekend when they came to spend time with me.  But I did my best to make their visits fun for them.  I wasn’t the best father—quite possibly, the worst—and I regret those times when they wanted to do something like go outside (in the 120-degree heat!) and go swimming and I didn’t want to leave the air conditioning.  That’s one thing on which I wish I could get a do-over.

We all make mistakes in life.  And the majority of us probably look back on parenting with some recollection of mistakes we made.  Okay.  I’m human and made mistakes.  Except, being a father?  That’s the one thing I wish I’d done perfectly.

But, Damn!  I wish they’d have liked those Pizza Noodles!

I recently called each of them to ask what it was about the pizza noodles that they didn’t like.  Neither one of them even remembered me serving it.  I explained the recipe to my daughter and all she did was laugh.  My son claimed no memory and his wife suggested to him that, perhaps the meal was so terrible that he’s blocked it from his memory.

I mean… It had chunks of cheese in it which made it like mac ‘n’ cheese!  But with spaghetti sauce and pizza spices!  Which made it like mac ‘n’ cheese ‘n’ pizza!  Come on kids!  Pizza Noodles!

My youngest was such a picky eater I’d never have tried pizza noodles on him.  I guess he may have been the lucky one…