One of the most challenging things for me to do in this life has been to let go of my desire for specific outcomes. I am very much better at it than I used to be. Worrying about a possible outcome only distracts me from being present in this moment. And hoping for a possible outcome is no different!
Buddhism teaches that seeking a desired outcome also means that you are working away from a feared outcome. The Yang always accompanies the Yin. There is often more to it than something you want. If we examine our desires, if we look behind them, we see that there is also a fear. We want one outcome because we fear another. We long to be in a relationship, but behind that is a fear of being alone. We want a better job, but behind it is a fear of being poor. We want a better car, but behind that desire is a fear of looking like we’re not successful.
Only Love is Real
A Course in Miracles reminds us that Only Love is Real and that it is fear that keeps us from experiencing the Love that we truly have, that we truly are.
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So, if I can let go of my desire for a specific outcome, I open myself up to an infinite number of possible outcomes. What if there is something better of which I haven’t yet dreamed? There have been many times in my life when I have walked around a corner and bumped into something I had yet to imagine or better than I had imagined. My goal now is to trust that whatever I need will be presented to me when the time is right.
But, more than limiting my possibilities, when I worry it keeps me from seeing the Universe around me in this moment! If my focus is on some distant desire (and subconscious fear), how will I see what is right in front of me? My yesterdays are gone and my future has yet to unfold. But, through practicing mindfulness for the moment in which I now live, I have the opportunity to feel my life.
What Do You See in a Flower?
In Southern California there is almost always something in bloom. What do I see when I look at a flower? I can see the petals. Sometimes I can see the stamen and pistil. I can see the stalk and the leaves. But, if I look more deeply, can see the seed and the bird that dropped it? Can I see the bee who pollinated it and the gardener who cares for it? If I take more time, if I look more closely can I see the minerals that nourished the plant? Can I see the water that fortified it? Can I see the cloud that carried the rain? Can I see the ocean that spawned the cloud? Can I see the planet that sustains the ocean? Can I see the solar system and the galaxy and the Universe of which I am a part, just as this flower is a part? Just as we are all a part. We are all from the same cosmic dust.
If I can see myself in this flower, can I see myself as this flower? My body is also of the earth and the rain and the cloud and the Universe. Am I looking back at myself? Is this how I would express myself if I were a flower? Can I release my desire for specific outcomes and my preoccupation with specific results and simply be me in the same way this flower is being a flower?
Who knows Better?
Then, if I can feel myself within this flower, can I not trust the Creative force of the Universe to lead me on the path that is in my higher interest? Do I know as well as God what is best for me? If I believe that the Universe was created by someone or something of infinite intelligence, why would I want to force myself away from that intelligence and toward some fear I have? I either trust in my Creator or I don’t.
OK. If I am not forcing myself toward some desired outcome, what do I do each day? And how do I know what my purpose is? How do I know what is for my higher good? I believe it is in following my heart each day. I believe my Creator speaks with me each day and, if I’m willing to listen, I can hear His voice within my heart. I will never hear His voice in my fears.
Instead of worrying and panicking and trying to force myself toward something because of my fears of failure or being uncomfortable or dying in a gutter, I believe that I should do what I feel like doing each day, following what makes me happy. And along that way I will be led on the path that He (and I) have chosen to be in my best interest in this lifetime throughout the eons.
